Tantric sex for beginners might sound like some mystical, incense-filled experience that belongs in a retreat centre somewhere in Bali. It didn’t feel very comforting, like something only spiritual coaches or ultra-flexible couples did.
But one night, after a particularly disconnected week with my partner, I stumbled onto a simple tantric breathing exercise online. We tried it—just eye contact and deep breaths—and something shifted. It wasn’t wild or overwhelming. It was intimate, honest, and alive.
So, if you’re curious but unsure where to begin, let me walk you through what I’ve learned about tantric sex for beginners—what it is, why it matters, and how you can explore it without pressure or pretence.
What Is Tantric Sex, Really?
Let’s demystify it.
At its core, Tantra is about connection—to yourself, your body, your partner, your energy. It’s not about elaborate positions or performance. It’s about slowing down, staying present, and experiencing intimacy on a deeper, more soulful level.
Tantric sex isn’t just about the physical—it’s spiritual and emotional. It invites you to feel everything more fully, from touch and breath to emotion and presence.
Quick Win: Start by turning off distractions—phones, TVs, expectations—and simply being with each other. Even that shift can feel electric.
Why Try Tantric Sex?
The biggest change for me wasn’t in how we had sex—it was how we connected outside of it.
Here’s what I noticed after a few mindful, tantric-inspired sessions:
- Stronger emotional connection—we made more eye contact in one night than in a week of busy schedules.
- Deeper communication—we talked about what felt good without fear or awkwardness.
- More pleasure—not just in orgasm, but in anticipation, breath, and touch.
And yeah, the sex? Slower, more intentional, and honestly—way hotter.
Tantric Sex for Beginners: Where to Start (No mentor Needed)
You don’t need to light 20 candles or chant anything to try tantric practices. Start with what feels natural:
1. Eye Gazing
It sounds simple—maybe even silly—but eye gazing for just 1–2 minutes can shift your whole energy. Sit facing each other, breathe deeply, and just look—no talking, no pressure.
It’s not about staring. It’s about seeing.
2. Conscious Touch
Slow down your touch. Explore your partner’s body with curiosity. Focus on how your hands feel, the texture of their skin, and how they breathe under your fingertips.
Pro Tip: Use warm massage oil or lotion. It adds sensuality and presence instantly.
3. Breathing Together
Sync your breath. Lie close—heart to heart or back to chest—and inhale and exhale together. This sounds simple, but it’s incredibly grounding.
Breath is the bridge between the body and the mind. Shared breath builds emotional intimacy.
Engaging the Senses: Pleasure Is Multidimensional
One of the things I adore about tantric practices is how they awaken all the senses.
- Sight: Keep soft eye contact. Watch your partner’s expressions.
- Sound: Whisper affirmations or let go of vocal inhibitions.
- Touch: Feather-light caresses or gentle pressure. No rush.
- Scent: Light incense, essential oils, or even fresh flowers.
- Taste: Share fruits or chocolate as a form of teasing connection.
Pro Tip: Try blindfolding one partner. Removing sight heightens every other sense—perfect for amplifying slow, sensual touch.
Presence Is the Practice
The hardest part? Slowing down.
We’re used to rushing, multitasking, checking boxes—even in bed. But tantric sex asks you to pause, tune in, and feel without hurrying toward a finish line.
Let go of goals like orgasm or performance. Focus on connection. You might be surprised at how much more pleasure you experience when you’re not chasing it.
Try this: Instead of saying “let’s have sex,” say “let’s connect.” It changes the tone entirely.
Key Takeaways
Exploring tantric sex for beginners isn’t about getting it “right.” It’s about being present, playful, and open.
Start small—one mindful breath, one slow kiss, one moment of eye contact. Those are the seeds of deeper intimacy, and they grow fast with care.
You don’t need to be spiritual, flexible, or experienced to try Tantra. You just need curiosity, intention, and a willingness to connect beyond the surface. Start tonight—you may never look at foreplay the same way again.
