A few years ago, I hit a wall.

Not a dramatic crash—more like a quiet thud. I wasn’t miserable, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing. I’d wake up, go through the motions, tick off the to-do list… but inside? I felt flat. Dull. Like I’d misplaced something important but couldn’t remember what it was.

Then one quiet Sunday morning—tea in hand, still in pyjamas—it hit me:
I had no idea what I was passionate about anymore.

If you’ve ever had that sinking, uncertain feeling… you’re not alone. Finding your passion and purpose doesn’t always happen in a single “aha” moment. Sometimes it’s a gentle unravelling. A slow remembering. A patchwork of clues, stitched together by curiosity and honesty.

Here’s what helped me reconnect—with myself, and with what truly lights me up.

1. Start With What Already Makes You Feel Alive

This was my starting point. I remember sitting at the kitchen table, asking myself:
When do I forget to check the time?

Work meetings? No. Instagram scrolling? Still no. The moment it hit me was when I was writing, when I was knee-deep in ideas or having real, unfiltered conversations with someone going through something tough.

That was the first flicker.

Think about your own moments like that—where time bends a little. Maybe it’s painting, problem-solving, gardening, baking, or dancing like a maniac in your kitchen. These things don’t need to be impressive. They just need to feel true.

Pro Tip: Passion often hides in plain sight—especially in the things you’ve labelled “just a hobby.”

2. Make a Joy List (Yes, With a Pen and Paper)

One morning, in a rare burst of clarity, I grabbed my journal and scribbled down everything that brought me joy. No pressure, no logic—just instinct.

My list was odd and wonderful: morning light on the floorboards, the smell of old bookshops, sea air, laughing until my stomach hurt, and playlists that make me dance in the kitchen.

Your list might be just as random. That’s the point.

Write without editing. Don’t try to make it make sense. Then look for patterns. The overlaps—the themes that repeat—are often the soft breadcrumbs leading you home.

3. Know Your Strengths (Even If They Feel “Ordinary”)

I used to dismiss my natural strengths as “just part of who I am.” I didn’t think they counted.

But looking back, I see how often people came to me to talk through big decisions, messy feelings, or creative ideas. It wasn’t random—it was a thread.

Your strengths might not scream for attention, but they’re quietly guiding you. Think about what people always thank you for. What do you do effortlessly that others find tricky? That’s gold.

Quick Win: A free strengths test (like VIA or CliftonStrengths) gave me language for things I never thought to name. Try it—it’s like seeing your reflection more clearly.

4. Explore With Curiosity, Not Expectation

I used to believe I had to “figure out my purpose” before I tried anything new. However, the opposite was actually true.

The turning point came when I started saying yes to small curiosities. I went on photography walks (just with my phone), joined a pottery class even though I was terrible at it, and once tried a coding workshop (I left halfway through, but no regrets).

Some things stuck. Others didn’t. But every single experiment taught me something about what didn’t light me up—and made space for what did.

Pro Tip: Don’t overcommit. Don’t overthink. Just explore like a curious kid at a buffet.

5. Narrow It Down Without Suffocating the Process

At one point, I had 10 browser tabs open, each with a completely different career path—from art therapy to UX design. I was so overwhelmed I did… nothing.

Then I changed my approach. I asked more profound questions:

• What would I do even if no one noticed?
• What makes me forget to eat?
• Where do I feel like I’m actually contributing—not just performing?

Your gut knows more than you think. Sometimes it whispers. Sometimes it nudges with fear—that stretchy, exciting kind. When you feel that combo of joy + nerves? That’s usually where the magic lives.

6. Talk It Through With Someone Who Gets It

This part took me a while. I had this stubborn belief that I should “figure it all out” on my own. That needing help meant I wasn’t doing it right.

However, I eventually opened up to a coach. And it changed everything.

She didn’t tell me what to do—but she reflected things I’d never noticed. Connected dots I hadn’t even seen. Challenged the stories I was clinging to.

Pro Tip: If a coach isn’t accessible, talk to a friend who knows how to listen. The proper conversation, at the right time, can be more powerful than a whole stack of self-help books.

7. Let Passion Into Your Life Now (Not “Someday”)

For too long, I thought purpose had to be a big leap—like quitting my job or launching a dream project.

But what actually helped? Giving passion pockets of time.
Fifteen minutes of writing in the morning. A weekend creative session. Listening to a podcast that lit a spark while commuting.

Little by little, those moments added up. And the more I honoured them, the more they grew.

Quick Win: Block 15 minutes this week—just for something that excites you. No agenda. No outcome. Just joy. (And guard it like you would any important meeting.)

Final Thoughts

Here’s what I know now:
Passion and purpose aren’t “found” like a lost sock.
They’re built. Nurtured. Chosen—again and again.

You won’t get a perfect map. But you’ll get clues. And the more you listen to your joy, your gifts, your energy—the clearer things become.

So if you’re feeling lost? You’re not failing.
You’re exploring.

And you’re doing just fine.

Keep going.